what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she looked like the before picture.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
