I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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