no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
me + whiskey = a bad person
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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