what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
