a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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