i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
