Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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