When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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