But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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