butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the condom got lost in my hair
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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