Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
