careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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