I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize