ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
