I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
