Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
