singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
