Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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