i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
