Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
