can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
