My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
