how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
