dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
