You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
