I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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