and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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