What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need to calm my uterus...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
