I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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