Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize