Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
