i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
