Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the day after is always just damage control
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
