She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
