If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
