fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Operation Purity has been aborted
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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