Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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