The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
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I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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