ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
