Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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