But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
