a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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