Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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