Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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