How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
