The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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