Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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