i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize