You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
