Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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