considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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