Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
