hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize