Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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