Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
