do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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