don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
